Ep. 84 - Dear Liar

November 16, 2020

Writer: Steve Marshall
Director: Frank Bonner
Original Air Date: March 24, 1982
*** VERY IMPORTANT***


A Prologue before I begin: With this episode, we are now into the final six episodes of the original "WKRP in Cincinnati." Various interviews and sources indicate that the cast and crew were pretty sure, if not certain, this would be the end of the series. As such, it seems to me the team we've come to love and respect who made this show,  knew they wanted to go out on a high mark. There are ideas the writers wanted to get out. There are performances the actors wanted to sink their teeth into. There are character and story arcs the creators wanted to finish.
     I think it helps to understand and break down this and the following episodes with that fact in mind.


There is a LOT going on with this episode. It could easily have been two completely separate episodes - one about plagiarism and the other about integrity. A couple of episodes ago, with "Circumstantial Evidence," I wrote about the feeling that the writers ran out of time to fit in all of their ideas. This episode does not suffer that fate. The fact that all the pieces fit so well together, while still delivering big laughs, is really a credit to Steve Marshall and the whole writing staff.

Also, this is Jan Smithers' best episode, hands down!

Now, after all that gushing, I'm going to tell you that the episode starts off with Les promoting a five part docu-series entitled "Rutabaga - The Vanishing Vegetable!" He has even brought in a rutabaga into the booth with him as a prop to shake in furious indignation, even though he's on the radio and no one can see it.

Of course, Andy doesn't want any part of this. WKRP is a rock station and he wants their news to have real weight in the community. A story... no, pardon me... a FIVE PART DOCU-SERIES about rutabaga does not fit in with those goals (I've written elsewhere about why he would care about the news department of a rock station, so I won't repeat those thoughts here). As Johnny labels it, Les' stories always seem to have a "barnyard aroma" to them and Andy, quite bluntly asks Les why "you never seem to do any PEOPLE stories."  I think there is a whole episode and therapy session to be had discussing why Les feels more comfortable discussing vegetables and pigs than the people in his city.

Andy happens to have a "people piece" he wants him to do: the Northside Children's Clinic, a pet project of Mama Carlson. The Clinic has been running into funding issues lately. Les truly does not care about the problems of sick kids. He sees that kind of heart tugging story as hokey and not worth his time. But the biggest issue for Les is that this docu-series is going to be his entry for this year's Buckeye NewsHawk Award (which as we learned in Ep.9 "Mama's Review," is awarded to "the best news story specifically about, or related to, tap root production in the Tri-State area and some areas of West Virginia"). THAT is his motivation - winning another award. For Les, it's not about community outreach or helping others. It's about the acclaim he can receive. That's important to keep in mind later in the episode.

Les complains to Bailey that Andy is making him do this hospital story and she says she'd be willing to do it. At first, he really does think it's too boring to do, but Bailey's enthusiasm to be able to get a piece on the air gets Les' more sinister side going. He can get Andy off his back with the hospital story, dangle the chance for Bailey to read it on the air to get her to do it, and all the while work on his prized rutabaga story. Oh, and don't forget, Andy is also dangling the idea that if Mama Carlson likes the story, Les could finally get walls for his office. For Les, it's a win-win-win-walls situation.

Inadvertently, Les gives Bailey her motivation in the story. He says if it's good enough, maybe he'd let her do it on the air. So in her mind, it can't be stale "It'll be the best darn story you ever read!" she promises him and she is way more genuine in making that promise than Les is in making his promise to her. But that's just another sign of Bailey's naivete.

We have just gone over all of this, and we aren't even into the main plot of the episode yet! Yikes!!

Bailey goes down to the Northside Children's Clinic and meets their Chief Administrator Edna Perkins. Her office is constantly busy with people running in and out, telephones ringing and Edna arguing on the phone about the prices of laundry service. She is stressed, tired and cynical all while trying to get enough funding to really make a difference in the lives of these sick kids. Into this situation comes fresh-faced Bailey Quarters, who says:

"I would like to find out everything I can about your operation. Then I'll be able to write my story and solve your problem."

Bailey honestly believes that's how journalism works, how the world works; that once she's identified a problem and told it well enough, the problem we be solved. Maybe I'm stressed, tired and cynical myself but it's hard to believe any college graduate who has hung out with Johnny Fever as much as Bailey has would think that identifying a problem itself will cause people to take action to solve a problem. Those are two very different things.

Edna Perkins running the hospital knows this isn't true and that Bailey is in for a stark awakening. But for whatever reason, she takes Bailey on a tour of the six hospital wards

Then we are back at the station, with Bailey looking over the typewriter. We never see the hospital or any kids. But we can tell she has been very effected by what she saw. She is distracted in her own thoughts when Jennifer comes into the bullpen. The two of them go to lunch and Bailey is rambling on about what she saw at the clinic.

So now to follow the story, we need to watch the timeline. Bailey and Jennifer go to lunch at noon, while Les is giving his noon report. During this, he is reading the first of his five-part rutabaga series. Andy is furious! He literally backs Les up against the wall to say this is important to Mama Carlson and he must do the hospital story at 2 o'clock. If he does, he can still do the rutabaga story at 4 o'clock. Les has less than two hours to come up with a story when he hasn't even gone to the hospital! Bailey doesn't get back to the station until 2 o'clock and we know this because Les is already on the air reading the story when she and Jennifer get back (It's always good to go to lunch with Jennifer, because then no one will yell when you take a two hour lunch break).

After his confrontation with Andy, Les doesn't know what to do... until he finds Bailey's story in his typewriter. Her note book is right beside it. It's all there. And we know he doesn't even bother to check it over before he reads it on the air, or he never would have made the "bearing children" gaff.

As Bailey promised, it's the best darn story he's ever read. It's shows personality and emotion. Bailey really took in all the patients she saw at the hospital. We only hear the last minute or so of the story, but even with Les' typically wacky reading, it's an emotional story, wrapped up with a simple flower picture handed to her by Bobby, a 10-year old boy unable to speak. His spirit of generosity is stronger than his disability. It's a beautiful capper to the story Les presents.

Bailey is furious at Les for reading her story and tells Jennifer, who assumes this is another instance of Bailey not standing up for herself. She tells Bailey to go back, confront Les and tell Andy what he did. But Bailey doesn't want to do that. Jennifer insists but Bailey wants this all to go away, and that's when she confesses... The story is a fake. There is no flower picture... and no Bobby.

Jennifer's first thought is the station could loose its license over this, and I don't really see that being the problem. I can't imagine the FCC shutting down a station that already threw live turkeys from helicopter for a fake flower drawing. But it does raise the dramatic tension as we go to commercial.

We come back to a scene that was cut from syndication! (Thank you Shout Factory) Les presents Mr. Carlson with 3 estimates from contractors to build his walls. Carlson tells him he's getting a $25 / week raise that he doesn't seem to care about. Mama wanted him to get a raise because of how good the story is. Carlson suggested walls might be a good idea for Les... padded walls.

This scene usually opens at the point when Jennifer walks in to say the Cincinnati Enquirer called. They want to run the story, verbatim, in tomorrow's Features section. Jennifer, knowing the story is fake, suggests maybe they shouldn't because maybe it's exploiting the boy. But Andy sees this as a huge opportunity for WKRP to make an impact in the community.

Les might be more excited about getting a story into print than he is about getting walls! Remember, his motivation through all of this is acclaim and a published story is even more impressive than a Buckeye NewsHawk Award. Bailey congratulates him sarcastically, and shamed, Les offers to share the byline with Bailey. He apologizes later in private for stealing the story, promising he'll never do it again. But he SOOOO wants to be in the paper. He's even is willing to but the flower picture from Bailey... for Ten Dollars! And that's when the truth comes out.

Nothing good can happen to WKRP without it coming with a moral quandary. Andy and Mr. Carlson both have there heads in their hands as they hear the news. Les stands with them as if he has the moral high ground. Once he forces Bailey to confess what she's done, Les proclaims  "The journalistic integrity of my news department has been compromised!"

That leads to the best joke in the episode. In trying to defend Bailey against Les' attack Andy tells Les "I want you to go to your desk, get out your dictionary and look up the word "Plagiarism." Of course, in the heat of the argument, Les says "Alright!" and leaves the office to do just that. The capper is when he returns after the audience has forgotten about him to literally read the definition of plagiarism straight from the dictionary, and that it is "something plagiarized".

Finally Andy and Bailey are alone to really discuss what happened. As Edna had thought, Bailey wasn't ready for how many children she saw or how serious their injuries and illnesses were. "I couldn't pick out just one and I couldn't begin to describe them all so I just put them all into... Bobby."

Bailey is ready to fall on her sword. The journalistic integrity argument is one she can't get over. But Andy is successful with a crazy station like WKRP because he doesn't see the world in such blacks and whites.  "This is the station that's employed Herb Tarlek for the last 16 years," he tells her. "Don't talk to me about integrity." As is his job, Andy is going to make everything all right.

But then he has a little throw away line that, I think, might have really been an interesting idea if the show had gone on another season. Andy warns Bailey "You ever do that again, you'll be the best looking reporter on the unemployment line." And she coyly looks back at him and smiles. "Best looking?"

Andy nods and smiles as Bailey leaves. 

I'm going off on a tangent here, but wouldn't Bailey and Andy make a more logical couple than Bailey and Johnny? Could there be love triangle in the station? Which side would Venus support? It's all speculation now but, I'm just saying, their kids would have great hair!

The newspaper still wanted to run the article, because they realized what everyone else should have realized: it's not about the flower picture! It's about a children's hospital in the middle of their city that is facing a funding crisis. That's why Mama Carlson wanted a story about it in the first place. The feature ran  entirely under Bailey's name, with prologue stating the character of Bobby was a composite of the children she met that day.

At that moment Edna comes in to thank Bailey with 87 flower pictures for Bailey, saying the story brought in "over six thou in new donations this morning" which is just fantastic late '70's slang. Nobody says "Thou" for one thousand anymore and maybe we should. 

Jan Smithers gets to do a little of everything we've ever seen her do in this one episode: she the optimistic do-gooder saving the Flimm building; she is the angry fighter telling Les and Herb to shut up; she's the caregiver getting a Russian to Cleveland. Smithers does it all here and does it all naturally. I believe it is her best performance

Roy

Other Notes: Edna is played by Barbara Cason, who appeared on dozens of TV shows including "Trapper John, MD" "All in the Family" and played Garry Shandling's mother on "It's Garry Shandling's Show,"

The entire "integrity" angle is a reflection of the story of Washington Post report Janet Cooke, who won the Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing in 1981 for "Jimmy's World" about an 8-year old Heroin addict. She is the only person to have had to return a Pulitzer, once it was discovered the story had been fabricated, along with many of her credentials.. She was fired and never went back to journalism again