Ep. 86 - The Impossible Dream

 December 8, 2020

Writer: Richard Sanders and Michael Fairman
Director: Nichlas Stamos
Original Air Date: April 7, 1982

When I started this blog, I was very hard on Richard Sanders. My memories of him were as someone who went out of his way to show he was acting. I then saw he had written five episodes of the show, most of which like "A Date With Jennifer" focus on Les. But over the seasons, I had somewhat mellowed on Sanders as I felt he had gracefully blended into the ensemble.

Then I watched "The Impossible Dream." This is Les' last real mark on the series and it end with Richard Sanders in a dress. Sigh.

The whole episode revolves around Les' birthday and with the major life changes Les wants to take on, I'm guessing it's suppose to be his 40th birthday (Sanders was 41 years old in real life). He has rashly decided to finally go out to New York City and break into big time broadcast journalism. He feels like it's now or never for him to give it try.

This is the modern version of the "Special Dream" he and his mother had shared that he would become a writer with the "New York Times." Oh yes, it is important to know that Les' mother has travelled to Cincinnati to celebrate her son's birthday. What influence has she had on this sudden decision?

There are a couple of obstacles in Les' way. The first is that he doesn't have any vacation time right now - Andy does. And as Andy will whine for the next ten minutes "There's an eight foot base with a two foot powder at Aspen!" I have no idea if Andy is suppose to know what that means.

The second, and certainly more pressing issue is that Les is not very good at journalism and has no idea what he's doing. Hundreds of journalists across America dream about what Les is dreaming, but they've put in the years of work to even have a chance at that kind of job. Les is giving himself a two week vacation to make that dream come true. Everyone, especially Andy, knows he's going to fail "They're going to ship him back in a body bag!" Andy says charitably.

Yet with this all happening, Jennifer decides to throw a surprise birthday party for Les, mostly so she can meet his mother. As cloying as the script is with Les' character, it gives Loni Anderson a lot to play with. It's always fun to see the cool, in-control Jennifer get frazzled and this party gives us that. She invites the staff over to her apartment for seven o'clock and tells Les to bring his mother by at eight.

However, Les arrives at the party before even 7 o'clock! She's not ready at all! Also, that's when Les tells  Jennifer how much he hates birthdays, and begs her not to tell anyone else. That's about when Jennifer headache starts.

The rest of the staff starts to trickle in. Andy and Mr. Carlson are trying to think of the best way to tell Les not to go. Jennifer tells them not to mention Les' birthday. Herb shows up hoping he might be early and get some alone time with the hostess. Jennifer tells him not to mention Les' birthday. Johnny and Bailey show up with party hats and serpentina! She admits to Les that everyone knows it's his birthday,  but now he's fine with it! The headache worsen.

This gives us her great delivery when Andy doesn't want to wear a party hat: "Put on the damned hat!"

Les is in a giddy mood. He's about to start an adventure and he has has a video audition reel made up to sell him in New York. He's had it professionally produced at "Twilight Video Arts," a client of Herb's. You have to remember, this is still a time when having a private video made was a big deal. You had to have money to even have a video player. So of course, Jennifer has five. Les is excited to get the gang's opinions.

But he doesn't even wait to hear they have to say. Cheaply made, it shows Les miss pronouncing President Reagan's name (he says REE-gan). The script is inane and opinionated. The wrong photos are shown on the screen behind him mixing up a car with an anteater. I like that Herb is sitting front and centre for the whole thing, loudly encouraging Les' name on the screen. But he's also the first to turn it off. Everyone know it is a disaster, unusable and, most sadly, an accurate portrayal of what Les Nessman would be like on the news.

Les is humiliated and runs out of the apartment. Jennifer turns back to her guests, giving up on the party she had planned and just says "Whaddya say guys? Triple vodkas all around?"

We know from Bailey earlier that Venus is on the air at the station and that's where Les winds up. I'm guessing he doesn't want to go back to his apartment and his mother quite yet. Venus is having Chinese food with two beautiful women in the control booth, but he has learned something from a couple of episodes ago. This is actually a meeting with his broker Adele and Tiffany his bookkeeper. And he really is having a business meeting this time! You tell Andy!

Venus is the first person to straight up ask Les "Why do you want to go to New York?" Venus is also the only person Les has asked "Do you think I'm good enough to go to New York?" Venus has fulfilled a "trusted advisor" role on the show before. Venus is also someone Les believes he can learn from.

Perhaps the best written joke in the episode occurs when Venus goes on the air and tells the audience "I hear you asking yourself Am I good enough? Should I take the chance? Will I Fail? Well, only you know your true worth. So seek not reflection in another's eyes." He then turns to Les and asking if that helps and Les replies "Oh I'm sorry Venus. I wasn't listening"

But the ladies are the most honest with him, telling him stories about how tough New York can be. Tiffany even says "Maybe those guys are just fifty times better than you are." Perhaps because they aren't his close friends, they can be a little most honest with Les. 

Next morning, in the lobby, Carlson, Jennifer and Andy are wondering if Les really wen to New York. Johnny comments how when Bailey did the news this morning it's the first time it's made sense in years!

I'm about to reveal a sixty year old spoiler, so please be ready. At the end of the movie "Psycho," Norman Bates runs out wearing his dead old mother's dress. I'm telling you this to prepare you for the next shot.

In walks Richard Sanders wearing old woman drag- permed, grey wig, pinched glasses and white gloves. The audience howls with laughter. Johnny asks "Nessman, are you going to New York or San Francisco?"

"I'm Lester Nessman's mother. I came here on the bus!"

Les did not go to New York after all. His mother has come down to the station to blame them for putting these "silly ideas" about New York in his head and Mr. Carlson says he thought New York was her idea.

"Mothers don't create false expectations in their childrens' minds. Although, Lester would make an interesting anchorman, wouldn't he?" She grins and sounds like Mother Bates as she says it.

In a final trick, Herb walks in and like Johnny, he also thinks this is just Les in a dress. He mocks her and gooses her as she's leaving. The director, believing no one in the audience has ever seen a camera trick before, has Les angrily walking into the lobby a second later. See? It wasn't the same person after all!

Roy

Other notes - Every newsman Les mentions (Roger Mudd, Charles Kuralt) is or was a CBS newscaster. Even Andy asks are you going "to replace Dan Rather?" The end credits read "Mother Nessman as Herself"